Tellin' it like it is!

I would describe myself as a very realistic person. Most of my life hasn't been easy and I usually get to where I want to be, usually by going the hard way. So when something difficult arises, I don't put blinders and pretend it's not there. I have a mini-meltdown, then I find out everything I can about it and how to beat it.

I think most people going through fertility treatments like we are have had statistics and as well as actual life disappointments put in front of them so they HAVE to face it. The situation is...that yes, there are people who are able to get pregnant naturally at my age. The reality is, they are few and far between..the chances are less than 1% per month...AND if they do get pregnant there is a 1/3 chance of miscarriage. That's not even taking into account the increased risk of chromosome abnormalities. So yes, I did get pregnant once naturally and then, I did had all the other things happen too. By doing IVF, we are giving ourselves the best possible chance to have a child. We are taking the very best embryos and putting more than one back so that we can up the odds from 1% to 30%. We don't have 30 months to try at this and hope for the best....we might not even have 12 months to keep trying.

When you're in the middle of an IVF cycle, it's hard to keep it in perspective. Even the nurses get excited and say "what a good response you're having". I tell them that a good response is a positive test. Still, you think, 20 eggs, 18 fertilized, putting back 4 of the best.. I have have a picture of them right here...IT HAS TO WORK!!!! But...in the end, it's still a 30% chance.....and it's a huge letdown when it doesn't.

I do have hope and I try hard to be positive, but also try hard not to set myself up for a fall....and that's not easy. IVF is one big hormonal rollercoaster. I'm so thankful for my wonderful friends and family around who try to understand what we are up against....who are there to cheer us up and get our minds off it....who are there to listen when things are tough.....who leave me messages that say "I'm thinking of you, call me if you need me". It all means so much that you are there for us! Thanks!!!!