Everybody Limbo!

OK just me....I'm in limbo, but luckily it's only for a few more days. I keep having dreams about giving myself shots. What if I squeeze too hard and the needle goes in one way and comes out the other? What if I jab myself and it hurts so bad I run screaming around the room? I've had needles before, I did allergy shots for years. I seriously need to chill.

Our RE's office sponsors a support group a couple times a month. We went to it last night. Sometimes I am hesitant to go. There are couples who have been through a whole lotta shit! You can see how much they want to be parents and how much pain they are in. I try not to think too much about the what ifs...."what if this doesn't work", "what if this doesn't ever happen for us"....and that's hard to do when it's staring you in the face and you're seeing it in someone else.

But, we always do go to the support group and each time, I'm so glad that I did. The last time, we heard about this couple who were young and both had such a challenging situation. What really struck me about them was that they made us all laugh. They had such a great perspective on the whole thing. I decided that I didn't want to be depressed and pessimistic, I wanted to go through (or try to go through) this journey with that kind of attitude.

I also learned about egg retrieval and transfer procedures. Apparently you are in a procedure room with a window and the embryologists are passing your "stuff" back and forth and there are lots of people around. It's good to have that knowledge before you go in. There's nothing more stressful than having your legs in the stirrups and suddenly hear a window open and lots of discussion about your hoo-hah!

Last night I was speaking to someone in the group who just finished one IVF (BFN) in November and would be starting her next round at the same time as me. I told her I would be taking Gonal-F. This medication comes in a pen dispenser that can give multiple doses. You dial up the dose you need each time and then pull back the plunger. Each pen costs about $1100....and only has about 3 doses on it. The other woman in the group told me to be sure not to overdial beyond my dosage, b/c you can't dial it back. You basically have to shoot out the extra medication and waste it. That's definitely a good tip.

So, I wait and I learn and try not to freak out! I hope this week goes quickly!