Today I'd call for a doctor, an IVF expert, and IVF Fairy or even Brad Pitt playing a doctor in Ocean's Eleven if he could tell me what the right decision is. The truth is, sometimes in IVF, it's all up to you. It's all up to me and my spouse to make many decisions that I don't think we are qualified to make. The answers if incorrect could result in a negative pregnancy result not to mention the loss of thousands and thousands of dollars.
I've spent countless hours scouring the internet. So much so, that I stopped researching and reading anything else about IVF since IVF #6 or 7. There just wasn't anything else meaningful to find, except community forums of inaccurate information.
Today I feel more unequipped than ever to make the decision we need to make. Tomorrow is Day 3 of our embryo culture. As of this morning we had 2-5 cells, 5-4 cells, and 3-2 cells. Tomorrow, what we are looking for is 8-celled embryos. In our best case scenario we'd love at least 5-8 celled embryos to go on to a 5 day blastocyst transfer. But what if we get 4? Our clinic says we can decide whatever we want to do. Their policy is to have 5, but we can choose to go on with 4 really great embryos. Not to mention, we have the others as well.
So tonight I went back into research mode. I've read the pros and cons of blastocyst stage. None of it conclusively says what the best course of action is. Some other clinics have a policy of 4 great 8 cells to go onto blast, so I do know we are not totally off base. Still, will the benefit outweigh the potential risk. Factor in the emotional reasons and gut feelings and who knows what to do?
As I go to sleep tonight I'm going to wish for just one thing...ok, FIVE things. I wish for 5-grade 1 8 celled embryos to be there when I wake up. I wish to be saved from figuring this all out. I wish for nature or the universe to make it all happen....and make it all easy....for once. Pretty please?
Night night.
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