Tennis Anyone?

Well, things are much better hormonally this week. I started estradiol pills along with the lupron, so the happy pills are countering the effects of the bad pills. With Lupron and Estradial, I feel physically relaxed, but I'm freaking out on the inside. The good news is that it's all almost over.

The donor started her stim meds on the 5th. So, what will happen is that she'll take these for about 7 days. In a normal cycle, one of her follicles would developing into an egg. In an IVF cycle, ALL of her follicles will develop into eggs. I can't tell you how glad I am that I'm not doing this part. Because there are so many eggs in your ovaries, it makes your ovaries feel like giant tennis balls. The last time I did it, the hormones whacked me out so much that I slept for the last 2 days. I feel bad for the donor a bit because she's never done a cycle before. I do know from her file that she has 2 kids, so I hope it's not too rough for her.

As soon as her eggs are all ready to go, I get to stop the Lupron. YAY!!!! Of course, then I get to start butt shots with 1 1/2" needles, but let's not get ahead of ourselves!

Right now, I don't know how to feel about the whole cycle. Taking the shots and meds is pretty much second nature to me at this point. The side effects are a huge drag. But then, this is when hope and excitement start to creep in. Once the donor has the egg retrieval and we find out each day how the embryos are doing, it's going to be really hard not to get excited. I'm unbelievably scared that we'll have similar results to last time. Embryos that looked ok but really weren't. There's zero explanation as to what happened so I don't know if it will happen again. AND, this is it...this is our last chance.

All I can do is admit that I have no control over any of it and try my best not to obsess. Basically, this blog post is one of the few indulgences I give myself about the IVF. Although, D and I did have a discussion the other night about baby names. Apparently he thinks King would be a great name. "King Morrow" he said in a slightly British accent and then gave an evil laugh. THAT is why we get along so well!