Coping with pure fear during the IVF process.

Our donor had her egg retrieval yesterday. 13 eggs were retrieved. Even at 41, I always had 16, 18 even 20 eggs retrieved. Our previous donor also had 18 eggs retrieved. So, we're not sure what to make of this result. Today we learned that 10 of them fertilized. Again, this is a lot less than we are used to. Of course, the key to IVF is quality not quantity. There have been people in our support group that had just 5 eggs and now have twins. So, all we can do is hope for a couple of really great embryos.

Still, there's some kind of comfort in a large number. Yet, there's the knowledge that those large numbers did nothing for us. So, we wait...until tomorrow and hope that every single one of those 10 embryos has split into 4 cells. Then we wait until the next day to see if they all make 8 cells. In our control...no. Maddening....yes.

I'm photographing a wedding today. It will be a nice diversion. It will be good to concentrate on someone else's special day instead of obsessing. Not only that, but it helps to know that my entire life is not IVF. It's a reminder that there's something interesting about me, something I'm good at. Becoming a mom isn't all that I am.

Day 2

The Day 2 results don't really say much usually. Except.......for the fact that I have this blog and can compare my day 2 results with my previous 2 ivf cycles. BONANZA!

OK so here it is:

IVF #1 IVF #2 IVF#3

......... ......... 1-5cell

2-4cell 1-4cell 3-4cell

3-3cell 3-3cell 5-3cell

9-2cell 11-2cell 7-2cell


Now THESE results are something to be excited about!!! (and also prove that my 2nd cycle with the Lupron protocol totally sucked!) I also just realized that for a cycle I thought had the least follicles of them all, we ended up with the most embryos. Wow! Now we just wait and hope the co-culturing continues to do its stuff and we have a good amount of 8-cells by tomorrow AM. We'll talk to the embryologist then and make the call on a 3 day or 5 day transfer.

Oooooo, did you feel that??? That was another twinge of hope. uh oh!

Egger'date

19 retrieved, 18 mature (which I'm stunned to hear) and 16 fertilized!!!!

There were so many small follicles on the u/s I can't believe that almost all were actually mature. This part is so exciting yet I hate having hope. It'll be like jumping off Niagara if this one doesn't work.

I'm still a bit sore, but I'm down to just tylenol instead of tylenol with codeine. I was up a bit around 5am when all my meds wore off, but D hooked me up with the heating pad and it all calmed down again. I like how in the doctor's discharge instructions they write it like you're going to think about going to the gym that day or something. Oh, and don't lift more than 20 lbs. DUUUUDE, I CAN'T GET OFF THE COUCH AND I'M HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO PEE NORMALLY!!!!

oops. tmi... and yes, if my doctor can call my eggs "juicy" I believe I can refer to him indirectly as dude. Off to have mass quantities of caffeinated tea while I can!

Go eggers!!!

Originally, I created this blog so that my friends and family could check on my "fertility status" without having to ask me all the time...and so that they could know what goes into this whole arduous process. But....I don't always think in those terms when I'm venting and ranting on a daily basis....it's more a stream of consciousness of my current state of insanity. So, when you see me next, please pretend I did not tell you about my "juicy" ovaries or how much I've been peeing lately! :P

Thanks to everyone who was checking today to see how my retrieval went. I blame the percocet and tylenol with codeine for my inability to put sentences together. The retrieval went well and I'm just resting and a little crampy now. After the past few days, it's a walk in the park. I was very glad to get those little eggers out. I told D I felt like a Jiffy Pop bag ready to burst...but at least I wasn't nauseous anymore!

The anesthesiologist started my pain meds before the doctor came in. First, I felt a little loopy, then I noticed that the lights in the ceiling looked like I was being pushed on a gurney down the hallway, but I wasn't moving. Pretty cool! Next thing you know, I woke up and it was over. I said how I hadn't even seen the doctor. The nurse told me that I had seen him and even said hi....then she corrected and said "actually you said 'Ciao". Em...barrrasssssinnnng!!!!

Apparently, they gave me a new med in my iv that they thought would help with my asthma. The effect was to totally dry out my mouth and throat. When I woke up, my lips were stuck to my gums and I immediately drank 2 full glasses of water. It's been almost 12 hours since the procedure and my voice is still dry and raspy. It's a good time to try out my version of "Betty Davis Eyes"!

Ok, ok, I'll cut to the chase, don't bury the lead I know, I know. So, although it was a lackluster start.....NINETEEN eggs were retrieved!!!! Of course, a bunch of these were more like 10mm than 16mm so they may not be mature enough to fertilize. We'll have the fertilization results tomorrow morning so cross your fingers!

From there, we'll see how they grow with the co-culture and decide how to proceed from there. Go eggers!!!!

The Big Suck!

Did I forget how much it hurt last time or is this time a little worse? I had a little trouble with the IV this time, so they had to do it twice. This time the RE's office called in some tylenol with codeine for me b/c I had lots of pain in my right side. Maybe that's because they retrieved TWENTY!!!!! eggs this time. That's right, count 'em TWENTY! Now they just have to grow into good little girls and boys. We'll find out how many fertilized tomorrow.

Hopefully the discomfort won't last too long. That was the hardest part so I'm glad to be passed it.