Freakin' Out!

This is definitely the "freakin' out" phase! I'm now at what would be considered Day 11. That's 11 days past ovulation even though the embryos were thawed and put back in on Day 3. If it's happened, it's happened. The embryo(s) would have hatched by now and implanted. They have started releasing HCG, which is what pregnancy tests detect, but the levels are still probably too low to be read on a home pregnancy test.

For some reason, my RE's (reproductive endocrinologist) office has schedule my BETA (blood pregnancy test) for 17 days past ovulation. I'm starting to think they are trying to drive me over the edge. Paranoid? Me???? Highly possible!

This is also the "IT'S IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT" phase! I have daily injections with a giant needle, I can't drink alcohol, can't take baths (and I LOVE baths), not to mention the intermittent soreness and twinges in my lower abdomen.

I was joking around with D last night about the madness of it all and let out a Young Frankenstein-type yell. An "I'm going MAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!" type of yell. It was a lot louder and longer than I originally intended....it took on a life of it's own.

Let's just hope other things are taking on a life of their own as we speak. I'm not naming any names.....but you know who you are!

OK OK!

Yes progesterone, I acknowledge your power to f' with my head in these two weeks. Soreness on the right, then soreness on the left...yeah yeah I get it! Why you gotta be like that? You're like the patron unsaint of infertile women. You're like the mean fairy in Scrooged. And I just need to say...nobody likes you. booooo

Oh, apparently even though I ate the house....I lost 4 lbs. Crazy! I'm thinking that Lupron was also doing it's evil work on me. I'm so glad to be off the stuff!!!!!

Uh oh! I ate the house!

I'm in here writing this while my wonderful husband is outside weedwacking. I should feel guilty for not helping right? I'm working on that part. I did do some dusting and straightening so I'm not a total 2WW slacker.

I don't know if it's just nerves or the residual side effects of the prednisone I had to take for 5 days, but I can't stop eating. It's like I'm jonesing for food but I know I'm not hungry. I was trying so hard to control my weight before the transfer, now I feel like I'm going to gain 10 lbs just in these 2 weeks. I hope it subsides soon or I will BE the size of the house in addition to EATING everything in the house!

It's official! The crazy two week wait (2WW) symptoms have started. I've had this soreness in my lower right side for a couple of days. When I had my transfer, I was sore on my left side from the procedure itself, so I know it's not that. This is just a random "hey, don't think you can forget about this for one second" kind of pain. I've had some trouble sleeping because of it, but I'm trying not to take any tylenol if I don't have to. OK, two week wait, I know how you are. Bring on the twinges and the pulling and whatever you got....I'm ready!

The Rollercoaster Ride Sucks!

It's been the longest two weeks of my life. I started off very optimistic since we had such a good response with the follicles, then with the fertilization. Everyone at the RE's office was excited too. But....today is the day before my beta (blood test to detect the HCG pregnancy hormone) and as of this morning the home pregnancy test was still negative. Suckage! It was the most potent pee in the entire world so if it was there, it would have seen it. (TMI...that's how I roll)

Last night I felt a little crampy on and off...like period-type crampy...and had a killer headache like I get right before as well. I don't feel any pregnancy symptoms at all. I'm not totally giving up yet, but I'm bummed. Although my head knows it was a 30% chance, we had some rockin' embryos that were put back in. I even had the freakin' harp. How could it not work?

Anyway, I'm just blogging to say that I won't be blogging about whether it's positive or negative tomorrow. If it's negative, we'll be doing another round asap....and you know how that all works now (or doesn't). pffft. If it's positive, we have several hurdles to overcome before we can tell anyone. There's a 35% chance of miscarriage for someone my age, so it's not fair to get everyone excited too early. Trust me, it's a huge letdown when it doesn't stick. We'll also have to reach a few milestones like hearing the heartbeat (which we never got to do last time) and getting testing done. So, if we are pregnant, we'll let you know in April sometime.

Thanks for following the blog and for supporting me through this and for caring.

It has been such a great help!

Love,

Me